The Oz Spirit of Cricket, my foot

Ain't it funny that of all the people in the world the one are getting the most exasperated with sledging are the Australians? Have Rickey Ponting, Adam Gilchrist and the rest of the kangaroos forgotten about the 'art of mental disintegration'? Now much was said by players on either side in the India-Australia match at Kochi, but the ones complaining at the end were Andrew Symonds, on-field captain Adam Gilchrist and off-field captain Rickey Ponting. Ponting says on the eve of the 3rd ODI that "we will go out and play our best cricket, and leave the talking to the Indians"!! Symonds who was earlier shocked by the celebrations of the Indian team post their Twenty20 win is now worked up by the chatter.

When did the Aussies acquire sainthood? Has the entire country gone through some transformation? Do let the world know clearly so that after following your footsteps in the 'art of mental disintegration' we can now take a leaf out of your 'Spirit of Cricket' book.

Biltong-Cricket = Bread-Butter

"Biltong and cricket go together just like bread n butter ". So says Fanie Van Vuuren, who has a biltong vend inside the Wanderers cricket ground at Johannesburg, South Africa. No sporting event in South Africa is complete without a few pints of beer and a generous supply of biltong.

In case you have been left wondering (as i was), let me explain what Biltong is. Bilton is essentialy South African dried meat. Bil = Buttock, Tong = Strip, got it?!! While beef biltongs are the most popular, an interesting variation is the ostritch meat biltong. Except of course with Indian fans, who being averse to beef prefer game biltong. You game for that? I'd rather stick to my lager only.

Punters predict India to win Twenty20 World Cup

So you think Australia is the favourite to win the Twenty20 Cup ? And you also think that the rest of the world thinks the way you do. Well, the cricket pundits might agree with you but certain gentlemen (if that is the right word) in Central India certainly do not.

Punters in Central India have placed bets of over Rs. 20 crores on the teams they think are likely to take home the inaugural Twenty20 World Cup and these teams are called neither Australia or England. Nor do they include hosts South Africa. The punters of Madhya Pradesh, Gujrat and Chhatisgarh think that one of India, Pakistan or Sri Lanka will bag top honours in South Africa. Over 43,000 gamblers are reported to have put in their monies and 65% of them favour India. World Champions Australia, on the other hand have found favour with a measly 13% of gamblers.

Here's wishing the punters of Central India all the very best. May their favourite team win!!

Statistical Model developed by IIM alumnus firm predicted Indian Loss

While me and you and a million other Indian cricket fans were glued into our TV sets yesterday waiting and hoping for our team to overcome England and win the 7th and final one-dayer and clinch the series, a few IIM graduates knew the result beforehand!!

Score Wizard, a statistical model bulit and developed by Bombay based predictive analytics company Fractal Analytics Ltd., a venture of IIM alumni predicted England would beat India in the all important final encounter at Lord's. However, the model had predicted a close affair - Score Wizard said India would lose the match by 3 runs only.

The firm claims to have got the results of 5 of the 6 matches of the series right. Besides, they claim over 70% success in predicting the results of the World Cup matches.

Let's wait and see what their predictions for the Twenty20 World Cup are - and how right they go in what should be a more risky affair as far as predictions go.

"Mickey Arthur speaks too many lies."

Andre Nel is in the South Africa Twenty20 World Cup Team now, replacing openin batsman Loots Bosman. The reason given for the change is a back injury sustained by Bosman from which he has not yet fully recovered. But Bosman isn't too sure.....

Bosman is reported to have said that one specialist told him he is fit to play while the CSA doctor ruled him out of the T20 World Cup and he finds the decision of the CSA specialist 'suspicious'. What had made matters worse for Bosman are his comments over coach Mickey Arthur. "I am sick of lies.", said Bosman adding that Arthur tells too many lies.

Not too surprisingly Bosman is in the middle of lots of official trouble now. Cricket South Africa (CSA) said on Wednesday that Bosman will appear before CSA's Disciplinary Commissioner, Michael Kuper SC, to face charges of breaching CSA's rules and code of conduct.

What is funny is Bosman's replacement: Andre Nel. While Bosman may have privately said something nasty about a couple of folks, Mr. Nel hurls abuses and looks worse right in the middle of the cricket park. If Bosman is being accused of bring the game into 'disrepute', Nel has been far worse.

Google's Sense of Humour?

Do search engines have a sense of humour? Yes, they do. If you don't believe me, simply type "Cricketer" on your google search box and see what you get.

On top of all relevant searches from the world - no less than 3 million results there is this most cute picture of the ex-Pakistan Captain, Inzamam-Ul-Haq.

There ain't no one as cute as Inzamam on the cricket field, for sure. What say!


ps: do a normal search, not an image search.

Heard of Kwik Cricket?

" If you know anything about cricket, which is played with a rock-hard ball, big, wooden bats and some pretty heavy-duty padding for the batter, you’re probably concerned about those poor kids getting cracked on their little noggins and going to the hospital. "

That's Beth Better, writing for the Prague Post on a Beach Party being organised at the Prague Bohemian Cricket Club in the Czech capital. Added the party organiser, Scott Page: " Not to worry, Page says. Kids’ cricket, officially known as Kwik Cricket, has different rules and is played with plastic equipment. There’s even a fledgling Czech girls team."

The party was kicked off with UK music bands with names such as 'Testosterone' and 'Narcoleptics', who had come all the way to the Czech republic for free to promote the British sport called Cricket. Globalising cricket!! Don't know if this is with the express permission of the ICC or not, but Czech boys and girls trying to play cricket sounds interesting and fun. The ICC what being generous with World Cup entries to young cricketing nations, who knows, we might see a Czech Team competing in the 2025 World Cup. Or better still, Indians and Aussies learning a thing or two from the Czechs on 'Kwik Cricket'. Maybe even a ICC Kwik Cricket World Cup, or may be even an ICL one!

Bullet-Proofed Fire Trap for the Cairns

Kiwi all-rounder Chris Cairns family had a narrow escape early this month when a fire broke out in their luxury home in the Netherlands. While Chris himself was away in London, his South African wife Carin and his two sons, Bram and Thomas struggled to make their way out of their bullet-proofed home as smoke and fire engulfed them. ( I wonder why Chris Cairns needed bullet-proof safety for his family)

Mrs. Cairns tried valiantly to break one of the glass windows to escape and get some much needed air, but the extra-secure windows were too tough to be broken. Carin said she kept thinking of Chris all the while - "only if he had been there with her, he could have broken the window with his hard hitting cricket bat". It was Chris itself who came to the rescue - having got to know of the incident on the phone, he was able to call up the Dutch Fire Brigade, who arrived on time to rescue the Cairns.

Wonder what Cairns is doing in the Netherlands with all that bullet-proof stuff? Isn't the Indian Cricket League calling him!!

*****

For Live Streaming Cricket Links for the India-England ODI Series, click here:

Chak De India

King Khan was at the Oval today ( day 1 of the 3rd and final cricket test between india and england). He was seen in the star cricket commentary box promoting his new sport-themed movie 'Chak De India".

Watch this montage of indian cricket clippings set to the tune of Chak De

Becker at Lord's

A not-too-interested-in-cricket Boris Becker entered the hallowed premises of the Lord's Cricket Ground yesterday, girlfriend Sharlely Lilly Kerssenberg in tow. Replying to questions on cricket, the former tennis star could only mumble the names of Lara and Flintoff to show some degree of knowledge of the game. He and girlfriend Sharley were more focused on the alcohol, downing more than a few glasses of wine.

In progress, at Lord's is the first test match of the current series between India and England. But to the shock and horror of many, Becker after failing to get too excited about the cricket, turned his back to the ground and switched on his TV, and watching some golf instead!

Cricket on the moon

Now, isn't that an exciting idea? No shot would be too high for the fielders as they jump up against a gravitational force that's about 16 percent of earth's. Imagine what all Jonty could have done there!

An internet cricket gaming company has just acquired land to build a cricket field on the moon - and that for a mindboggling sum of 25 $ . ( I am already thinking of renting it out for myself for a year or so !!) . Wonder what the valuation of the entire moon is - am quite surprised why Richard Branson hasn't yet bought it out completely? Surely, if that's the price of a cricket field on the moon, the entire moon can't be too expensive for Mr. Virgin.

I hope you aren't getting any ideas for yourself.

Getting selected into the Delhi cricket team: DDCA style

This story appeared in the Cricinfo, early this year - sometime in February. Don't know how Beyond Cricket missed. Time to make amends:

Step into the Ferozeshah Kotla this week and you will hear the story of how a desperate couple, at their wit's end over how to get their son into an age-group team, came up with a strategy that was as simple as it was smart. Having heard about how a certain selector had made salacious suggestions to the mothers of several young aspirants, they took the man to dinner. Midway, the father got an urgent call and left, asking the lady to drop the selector home. Along the way, she and the selector made a private date and sure enough, soon after she obliged him, the boy made it to the age-group team. Of course, as the selector eventually found out, the woman he had made (and kept) the date with was not the boy's mother; she had been paid to do a job.

The rot in DDCA seems to be complete - no wonder stories of players looking for opportunities beyond Delhi are doing the rounds all the time.

Situation Vacant: Link to the Pak Coach Ad

Click here to see for yourself the advertisement which the PCB put up for the new vacancy which came up after the death of former coach, Bob Woolmer. You can trust the PCB and BCCI to come up with new and newer antics.

Just one hitch - the ad is in Urdu.

Live off your blog

I started blogging a little under a year back, out of fun. Blogging seemed to be an interesting idea - here was a platform to announce your views and opinions to the world, and even get the world to react to it. And, all for free. So far, so good. But wouldn't it be better if we could make some money out of it too? Afterall, I have begun putting in quite a bit of effort into my blogs, and it would be nice if i could get paid for it, like we do for other useful tasks we do.

So, here's a new opportunity to make some real good cash, by writing reviews - tell your readers what you think of a site or a product or a service, and get paid for it. Cool na?
Bloggerwave

is one great platform for bloggers like you and me to monetize our efforts. And it's pretty simple too. These guys were quick to approve my blog - about a day only, and then it's upto you to choose to do the reviews that you want. And don't forget to thank me, if you end up making a neat sum at Bloggerwave. Cheers!

Maxim-um Mandira

Is that really 'Mandira Bedi'?

I have my doubts, and Maxim, which has been quoted as the source for these hot pictures of the Bedi girl in both Hindustan Times and at India FM, is not exactly the most credible of magazines. Maxim has earlier been in the middle of storms where it has been accused of publishing pictures which were not completely authentic.

Mandira Bedi is currently in the midst of a small controversy for a tattoo on her back which says, 'Ek Onkar', the Sikh religious symbol. Mandira's back, flashing the Ek Onkar tattoo was recently in public view as Cricket's first lady sashayed down a ramp recently.

When Prince Harry kissed Chelsy

Guess,where Prince Harry is holidaying? None other than the West Indies. The prince is holidaying in the Carribean with girlfriend Chelsy Davvy.

Here are some cute pictures from the England-Australia match in Antigua, where Prince Harry and his girlfriend got cute and romantic. "Chelsy looked gorgeous, and Prince Harry was all over her, throughout the match", remarked a fellow viewer.

Yuvraj & Kim getting married?

The rumours are doing the round again - Sources say that besides Salman & Katrina, cricketer Yuvraj Singh and actress Kim Sharma may take the matrimonial plunge later this month. Though Kim Sharma denies the news of her marriage to Yuvraj, even going to the length of saying that Yuvraj is hooked up with someone else. But it's hard to believe, with the number of times the two have been spotted together at various hotspot across the world.

I had myself ran into Yuvraj and Kim entering a 5 star hotel in New Delhi ( if i remember clearly, it was The Grand ) just as we were making our exit after a dinner buffet, and the time was not exactly early - it was well beyond midnight. This was a year back, and since then, they have been in news almost every time the Indian team is taking a break from cricket.

Kim had once got into a famous brawl with fellow actress Shamita Shetty, as the Shetty babe was apparently trying to get too close to Yuvraj, Kim's date for the evening.

Inzamam: Mock interview

On mail, from Asma Mirza (Pakistan)

Read this hilarious discussion with Inzamam-ul-Haq

Interviewer: Hello Inzi …
Inzi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Rahim … first, thanks to Almighty Allah for this interview and …Interviewer: Of course … so tell us, what made you finally resign your captaincy and retire from One-Day cricket?
Inzi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Rahim … firstly, thanks to Almighty Allah, the boys prayed well....
Interviewer: You mean the boys played well …
Inzi: No, the boys prayed well …
Interviewer: Okay, *but they did not play well …
Inzi: No, first comes praying and thanks to Mushy, Saeed Anwar, Yusuf and Junaid Jamshed for leading ba-jamaat prayers …
Interviewer: But you guys are paid to play, not to pray.
Inzi: No, only Bob, Danish and Shoaib Akhtar play because they don't pray …but thanks to Almighty Allah, rest of boys prayed well, especially Yusuf and Yunus and Rana and myself who were in good praying form and inshallah we will win this year's Raiwind Tableegh Cup with help from coaching of Mushy and Saeed Anwar.
Interviewer: Right. Now, can we talk about cricket for a change?
Inzi: Why?
Interviewer: What do you mean, why? You're a professional cricketer!
Inzi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Rahim, firstly thanks to Pepsi, 160 million peoples hearts were in their mouths when we beat India at Banglore …
Interviewer: That was two years ago.
Inzi: Yes, I know … I also learn math in madressa …
Interviewer: Right. So, what went wrong at the World Cup?
Inzi: Boys prayed well.
Interviewer: I don't care how they prayed, tell me why did you and the boys play so badly. Why were you guys so spineless?
Inzi: Rumors and propaganda … only lies, that's all!
Interviewer: What lies and propaganda?
Inzi: That boys don't have spine. Thanks to Almighty Allah all boys have spine! Tomorrow they will say boys don't have leg, arm and groin … all nonsense!
Interviewer: Inzi, I was talking metaphorically.
Inzi: Yes … Metavetabally … thanks to Dr. Naseem Phd. MBBS, LLB, Advocate, boys spine, arm, leg, groin intact!
Interviewer: So, about the World Cup debacle. What went wrong?
Inzi: Bob died.
Interviewer: Yes, but the poor chap died after you guys crashed out of the World Cup.
Inzi: Very unfortunate his death … very unfortunate. I think it was indigestion.
Interviewer: But he died after you guys lost to West Indies and Ireland …and he did not die of indigestion. He died of stress.
Inzi: No, no, Bob did not have stress fracture …
Interviewer: Sigh. Why, because he prayed well too!
Inzi: Juniad, Mushy and me try to convert Bob to pray five times like good Muslim mujahid Tableeghi and said to him look how well Rana ball after keeping almighty beard …
Interviewer: But Rana was terrible with the ball!
Inzi: Because Bob not convert!
Interviewer: What nonsense!
Inzi: No, you nonsense … if Bob become Muslim Pakistan surely inshallah, mahshalla win cup!Interviewer: You mean to say since Bob did not become a Muslim like Muhammad Yunus, you lost?
Inzi: Yes. Very unfortunate that he now dead without becoming a Muslim.
Interviewer: Well, what about you? Your career seems dead as well.
Inzi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Raheem, firstly thanks to Pepsi and Lifebouy and promotion in Tableeghi Jamaat, Allah has given me many money …
Interviewer: So why not build a hospital or a school …
Inzi: Inshallah, Mushy, me and Juniad plan to build mosque and madressa in Lords ground.
Interviewer: What? Why a mosque and why on the Lords Cricket Ground?
Inzi: Because last night Mushy, me and Juniad have dreams in which Bob in white shalwar and green shirt and white, white wings told us to build mosque in Lords …
Interviewer: But Bob wasn't even a Muslim!
Inzi: Rumors, lies, propaganda!
Interviewer: So, you're saying that he was a Muslim?
Inzi: In our hearts he was Muslim …
Interviewer: Yes, but in his heart he wasn't.
Inzi: Yes, that's why he die of heart attack!
Interviewer: Inzi, sorry to say this, but for long it has been noticed that with all this Tableegi thing, you and some of your boys have started to lose not only your form, but your grip on reality as well …
Inzi: Yes, but my boys prayed well and I talk metavetabally.
Interviewer: But who the hell cares if boys prayed well!
Inzi: Bob.
Interviewer: All he cared about was you guys playing some decent cricket!
Inzi: Are you saying my boys are indecent? Firstly thanks to Tableeghi Jamaat, all boys now naik and clean and decent …Interviewer: But what about the boys' cricket and form? Not very clean and decent. Inzi: Yes but boys prayed well and Bob drop dead.Interviewer: Sigh. Okay, tell us what was you biggest achievement as captain?Inzi: Bismillah-ur-Rehman-ur-Raheem, firstly thanks to Almighty Allah, many boys of team now have beards, and now they all go to heaven when they too die like Bob.
Interviewer: I see. You know, Rameez said that knives await the Pakistan cricket team when they come back, but I think instead of knives, usteras, razors and scissors will be more appropriate.
Inzi: Usteras are ban in my team. They are haraam. Look what happened to Bob? Interviewer: What happened to Bob?Inzi: He died.
Interviewer: We know that.
Inzi: Yes. It was a shaving accident!Interviewer: What nonsense!Inzi: No, you nonsense!Interviewer: And it's not your team anymore. You're out, gone, finished!
Inzi: No, only Bob gone.Interviewer: In a recent statement, Junaid Jamshed said he hopes Bob recited the Kalma before he died. What sort of talk is that?Interviewer: Good talk, good talk … all boys say Kalma … we also tell Danish to say Kalma as well …
Interviewer: But Danish is Hindu. It's like Dravid asking Irfan Pathan to do the bhajan!
Inzi: Yes, yes, I like bhaaji also …
Interviewer: So what next? Who do you think should be the next captain?
Inzi: Saeed Anwar.
Interviewer: But he retired four years ago!
Inzi: Yes, I know … I also learn math in madressa …
Interviewer: Never mind. Thank you for talking to us, Inzi. And good luck.
Inzi: No, thanks to Almighty Allah …
Interviewer: Yes, Him too.
Inzi: You are good Muslim. Here, have a Pepsi.

Wassalam

Harbhajan Singh and the pretty woman

Who is that pretty lady with Harbhajan? Is the turbanator spinning a different length here?!!!!

A Homage to Shane Warne

This is a little late in the day, but it's so damn funny and interestingly written that it deserves to be culled out of the archives and presented here:

Source: Top Aussie Guide on Geocities

Shane Warne is a top Aussie. He is also a massive pisstank yobbo with a beer-gut who dyes his hair blonde and drives a red convertible. Warney has done some bad things. He once got paid 100 grand by Nicabate to give up durries for a year but he lit up heaps when he was pissed. Then he took money from some Indian bookmakers for pre-match information. He once smashed a camera cause a kiddy took a photo of his beer gut. Then he got toey on the phone and dirty-talked an English girly who wasn't his wife. However, all Australians agree that Warney can be excused for doing these things cause he spin bowls like a genius and makes England look completely shithouse. Warney could drink all our beer and then spew on our carpet and we wouldn't care as long as he keeps taking wickets.
Warney is a top Aussie.

*****
Warnie, the genius and maverick will be missed. He gave more than just the spin to cricket - he added some much needed colour to the game. Freddie is showing some sparks, let's see if he can do more Warnies in the future.

Kinky Warnie

Just a funny picture. Cricket will definitely miss Shane Warne - one of those guys who added some colour to the game, which is increasingly getting corporatised and boring.

Sachin Tendulkar's story: A video

>"I'm Sachin Tendulkar. This is my story - My coach used to put this one rupee coin...".
Adidas seem to get it right with Tendulkar each time. But as you watch this beautiful commercial,pray that he fires against Lanka on 23rd. Else, the crazy Indian mobs will cite this advertisement as another reason to hang him. Nuts.

Sachin Tendulkar's Impossible is Nothing Story - adidas

Prelude to a Kiss

Very rare David Boon "Kiss" Video